Archive for February, 2012
“Ok, I don’t like to gear my material to the audience but I’d like to make an exception because I was told that there is a convention of plumbers in San Francisco this week – I understand about 30 of them came down to the show tonight – so before I came out I worked-up a joke especially for the plumbers. Those of you who aren’t plumbers probably won’t get this and won’t think it’s funny, but I think those of you who are plumbers will really enjoy this…
“This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, “You can’t work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ wrench.” Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, “The Langstrom 7″ wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket.” Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, “It says sprocket not socket!”
“Were these plumbers supposed to be here this show…?”
I think this may be my next job . . .
- Money cannot buy happiness, but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle.
- Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.
- Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
- Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
- Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.