Archive for May 6th, 2009
This is relative, especially given the fact that our President wants to create 20,000 new DoD jobs to “help streamline” the DoD acquisition process, which, by the way, is the MOST COMPLICATED SYSTEM IN THE WORLD, rivalling cold fusion in difficulty. I can assure you that adding more people WILL NOT HELP. Trust me, I’ve been involved in it for years, and it will not benefit from more people. The boat can only hold so many knuckleheads…
NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Inexplicably, this made me smile a big smile. It’s a clip from “Ko to tamo peva” or “Who’s That Singing Over There?” a Film by Slobodan Sijan done in 1980.